Trust Is The Thing

It begins the day we are born, with trust.  The first moment of our being begins with trust.  We take our first breaths when we are born and the only thing we know is how to trust.  We are born with it.

Every time I see a new baby, I see this with clarity.  Babies trust that we will hold them, comfort them, feed them, clean them, defend them.  Babies trust that we will love them.  Babies trust that we will not drop them, not hurt them, not neglect them.

If you've read others of my posts or know me as a friend, you may already know this about me.  I use the word God often even though I don't know anything for certain.  When I say "God" what I mean is whatever we all believe in.  Some believe in God.  Some call it a higher power.  Some call it Allah or Yahweh or Buddha.  Some say fate.  Some believe in evolution and instinct.  


Personally, I believe in spiritualism; knowing what is right, what is wrong and trying to live a life that reflects our true beliefs, whatever they may be.  I'm not a religious person and none of my family have been.  Still, I like the word God.  It's a simple three-letter word that I use to cover my beliefs, your beliefs, whatever they may be.

I think God instills the one and only true emotion that we need when we are born.  Trust.  We are born with trust.  Trust is the foundation for so many emotions; happiness, joy, excitement and that one emotion so many desire, love.  The breaking of trust is responsible for those other emotions that sometimes aren't easy to manage like sadness, disappointment, fear.  Trust is intrinsic to all our emotions.

As we live our lives, as we grow, we experience many things that might erode our trust.  It can begin with the smallest of things like falling hard during our first steps before we can be caught or a parent reneging on a promise.  The older we get, it can sometimes seem that the erosion of trust gets bigger with bigger issues like finding that the person we thought was our best friend said something less than kind about us or one of our first boyfriends/girlfriends suddenly stops speaking to us without explanation.

I am an oddball individual.  I tend to think in a "backwards" kind of way compared to most of the population ~ the ones I've met so far, anyway.

Here's an example of what I mean.  Many people I hear in discussions are looking for someone to love them.  I hear it so often.  "What's with all these men/women who won't love me?  I do everything right, do everything for them, treat them like gold but no one has ever truly loved me the way they should."  


In my way of thinking, this is not love but rather need.  They are seeking something be it affirmation, esteem, importance.  My backwards thinking tells me that they do or did not love the object of their desire so much as they placed high hopes and expectations on someone to answer their personal deep neediness.

In my backward way of thinking, love is something you give, not something you expect.  Love is selfless.  Love is a feeling and the beautiful way that you are inspired to treat another for no reason at all other than wanting happiness, fulfillment, success for another with no hidden agendas.  If that other person feels and wants the same back for you, that is fantastic.

Love exists between family members, co-workers, children and parents, friends.  I find most people in this world are focusing on only one love relationship; the romantic kind.  I find it ironic that people ignore the 100% of love that they get from all the people already in their lives in order to focus on the 0% of romantic love that doesn't exist in their lives.

I have a theory (one of many) that these people so intent and desperate to fill their need are people who have their trust hurt and broken then carry that hurt, pain and bitterness with them constantly.  We all have moments when our trust is broken but some people nurture that pain and embrace the erosion of their trust.  It leads them to ignore and diminish the importance of the ones who love them already.  They become completely immune and unaware of the love they already have.

They seem to search helplessly and hopelessly for someone who will love them.  When they find someone who will "do", who is acceptable enough to be in a relationship with they begin to imagine romantic love; how it will be, how they will interact, how they will be treated, what they will do for the other to make sure they get "love" back.  When this person does not behave as imagined, these people begin to see their need unfulfilled.

I think the reason is they have lost their trust through a variety of events in their lives and weren't able to come to terms with them.  Without trust, we cannot love.  We cannot see the love we have.  If we cannot love nor acknowledge those who love us, I believe it's extremely difficult to build a selfless love.  If we cannot give love, it doesn't make sense that we demand love.

I think when we lose our trust, we begin to believe that people are out to "mess" with us, cause us pain, play us, when really that's the farthest thing from most people's thoughts.  They also are searching for someone to love them, nursing their past broken trusts and hurts.

Seriously, I think so many are so intent on catching others trying to "screw" with them that it's no wonder people aren't finding this romantic love.  No trust, no love.  When we are all pointing our fingers one direction while scanning the crowds for the "one who'll truly love us for who we are" how can romantic love possibly grow?  


Seriously.  Who is going to love someone who has such a lack of trust that they believe every person who enters their life will eventually show their true user/playa colours...it's just a matter of time in their minds.

It's my experience that when one is continually expected to behave in a certain negative way, at some point they will.  I believe it creates thinking like, "I'm suffering the consequences anyway so I may as well commit the sin."

To get love, one must trust.  To get love, one must give it freely with joy and abandon to all the people in their lives.   It is human nature that when one is stingey with something but demand it of us, we resist strongly.  So love freely.  


I think of it like planting seeds.  I try to sprinkle seeds of love everywhere I go in the hopes that it will thrive and grow and someone will be able to benefit from and appreciate it.  Maybe it's a smile that gets passed on.  Maybe it's a hug for a friend on a bad day who then goes home feeling less stressed and hugs her family.

I have an abundance of love flowing around me and want the same for everyone on this planet.  Love, no matter the type, is always priceless.  I reap the rewards of the seeds I plant all the time.  One day, my seeds will also produce that romantic kind of love.  When it does, I will be ready.

Love on, dear ones.  Love on!